Family

I spent some time tonight with a friend who is a foster parent. She and her husband should be the poster family for foster parents. She is a huge part of the reason that we want to foster. Right now she has four boys and is pregnant with a girl!!!! How her life has changed in a year. If anyone deserves the happiness it is her.

I was talking to her about fostering instead of adopting one day and told her that we really didn't want to foster because we didn't think we could let them go. She, who is 15 years younger than me, says with wisdom "What if they are saved while they are living with you? What if you are suppose to introduce them to God?" How do you answer that? Ummmm...no thanks. So yeah we started thinking about it again.

Her boys are wonderful. I know that the stereotypical foster kid is mean, and doesn't mind, is adhd, add (and all those other initials.) Her kids not so much. The oldest is eight the youngest two. They are well behaved, the four year old sat through church last night and didn't make a sound, respectful, and if she told them to do something they did it. It was great to watch. All of them called her Mom. She told me that she didn't think that she would ever hear anyone call her Mom and she started crying.

Tomorrow the adoption of one of the boys is going to be final. He is going to change not only his last name but his middle name too. His middle will be the same as his dad's because he wants his dad's name. Tomorrow he will be their son. I asked him tonight what that meant and he said that they would be his mom and dad and stay forever and ever. He was going to be part of their family.

Earlier in the evening we were talking and she asked me what age kids we wanted. We have different opinions. Hubby wants younger kids, from 7 to 13, I want teenagers. We will take whatever God gives us.

Let me tell you about why I want teenagers. It's because they want a family. If they are in the system that long they don't really want a mom and a dad, but a family. I know it will be hard, but teenagers are hard, they are trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be, they are testing their wings, learning to fly. Let me ask you some questions; Who do you spend the holidays with? Who did you call when you were going to get married? Who did you tell when were going to have a baby? Who do you call when you are hurt? Who do you call when you need help? Most of the answers to those questions are family. Imagine not having family because for some reason or another you spent your life in foster care and were shuffled from one house to another. I want to give them a family, I want to give them security.

So what is a family? A bunch of people who are related by blood and marriage who see each other at weddings and funerals? What about people who are connected who are connected in a deeper way. How about that lady at church who tells me I am loved and I have talent and somehow has figured out what one of my secret dreams is? Hasn't she just stepped into the role of my mom? What about the man who is about my dad's age and gave me a bed he made for his daughter so that maybe one day my daughter would sleep in it? Isn't that what a dad is suppose to do?

Rethink family and think about who is really in yours.

So I don't have a song this time but I am going to put the definition of family from Websters on-line dictionary. Read it and pay attention to ALL of them, not just the first one.
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¹fam·i·ly

Pronunciation: \ˈfam-lē, ˈfa-mə-\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural fam·i·lies

Etymology: Middle English familie, from Latin familia household (including servants as well as kin of the householder), from famulus servant

Date: 15th century

1 : a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : household
2 a : a group of persons of common ancestry : clan b : a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : race
3 a : a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : fellowship b : the staff of a high official (as the President)
4 : a group of things related by common characteristics: as a : a closely related series of elements or chemical compounds b : a group of soils with similar chemical and physical properties (as texture, pH, and mineral content) that comprise a category ranking above the series and below the subgroup in soil classification c : a group of related languages descended from a single ancestral language
5 a : the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family b : spouse and children
6 a : a group of related plants or animals forming a category ranking above a genus and below an order and usually comprising several to many genera b in livestock breeding (1) : the descendants or line of a particular individual especially of some outstanding female (2) : an identifiable strain within a breed
7 : a set of curves or surfaces whose equations differ only in parameters
8 : a unit of a crime syndicate (as the Mafia) operating within a geographic area