Content

I sit here in my big comfy chair. (It is actually really comfy, I have fallen asleep in it twice and hubby spent a night in it after falling asleep during a football game.) I am in awe of my life right now.

Earlier today my church had a women's retreat. It was awesome. I love the women at my church. If I need to cry they let me, if I need a laugh they make me. God has met my needs at the church. I was able to focus on the Lord today. Not once did I wonder if I was missing something on Facebook (I missed nothing) I didn't check my phone every five minutes to see if I missed a call (not that many people call me) I didn't text anyone (that was hard for me) We were reminded to slow down several times today. There was time that we closed our eyes for fifteen minutes and did nothing. That was wonderful.

The only thing was that was talked about Sarai (Sarah.) You know Abraham and Sarah. The woman who had a baby when she was ninety? I love stories of women in the Bible. The story of Ruth, Rahab, Esther, Mary. LOVE those women. Sarah...eh, not so much. I can't tell you how may times in the past ten years that someone, with the best intentions, has told me that Sarah had Issiac when she was ninety, it is meant to make me feel better about not having children. I usually tell them that God and I discussed it and I am NOT going to have a baby when I am ninety. I do love Sarah's story. She was faithful. Faithful to her husband, faithful to God. She did make that mistake with Hagar but who hasn't taken situations in their on hands? She has a neat story and I am going to find out more about her.

When I think about being a mom, it's not about having a child of my own but making a difference in the life of a another person. To influence them, to give them unconditional love. To let them know they would always have safe place to come to in times of trouble. But most of all I wanted someone to call me "Mom." I would NEVER attempt to take that title from another woman. I wanted to earn it. I wanted to have the battle scars to show that I deserved it. I wanted someone to call me "Mom" cause they thought I deserved it. I knew that I was just biding my time. I knew that God was going to make me a MOM, maybe not a mother but I would be a Mom one day. I knew just like Sarah knew she was promised a child.

Last summer a wonderful girl started calling me Mom, it always made my heart skip a beat. This summer a precious girl in the youth group started calling me "Mommy" I thought she would stop at the end of summer when we stopped spending so much time together but she didn't. Her sister and grandmother asked me one day if  I had seen my daughter. I had to smile. Last week an older girl in the youth group started calling me mom. All of this was not prompted and not asked for.

Our exchange student calls me mom. Hubby tonight said that the student liked me better then him. He had gone to a thing at school this morning and I wasn't home when he came home. Hubby said the first thing he did when he got home was ask where I was. I try to assure hubby that he was liked too but of course I was doing the victory fist pump inside going "Yeah baby!!"

After years of pleading with God and trying to explain to Him why I needed a child and Him telling me no I finally understood. I am a mom. THIS is what I have been waiting for. How wonderful to know that the Lord answered my prayers. I wonder how He had to wait for me to calm down and realize that he had this in control? I am finally understanding what it means to be content.

Thank you LORD!!!

For I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. Philippians 4:11

Forever Chris Tomlin

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
With a mighty hand
and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
Forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
And ever
Yeah

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
Forever
You are God.....
Forever
And ever and ever ....