What really matters

A couple of days ago a tragic thing happened to one of our neighbors. Their teenage son goes to church with us. It was a tragedy makes you stop and take inventory of your own life.


This has been on my mind and heart since then. I am not close to the family. I have been getting to know their so n at church. My heartaches for them. It has been aching for them since I found out.. This is not my tragedy and this is not going to be about me...well as much as a blog about my life is about me.

I went back to work and checked Facebook and Twitter to see if anyone had said anything, they hadn't. They were talking about TV shows and the Olympics and new cars and the snow-cone stand closing. I wanted to say "Don't you realize that it really doesn't matter if you have a snow-cone or not?" My boss' young daughter came with her dad to pick up my boss. She came to my desk, she uses my computer to watch Barney while her mom is finishing up. The hope in her eyes. She just wanted to watch Barney, I wanted to sit and sing "The Wheels on the Bus" for the rest of the day. I wanted to breath in her life, her hope. It was a sign that the world does go on.

That night we went to the store, no food in the house, I looked at all the people shopping and all the people that were shopping and I thought to myself  "Just two blocks away a family sits broken, how can you just go on with your lives?" Of course they didn't know about the family, the world must go on.

As much as I have been affected by it (I hugged a sweaty boy ugh) I know that their pain is 100, 1000 times more.

How does life go on? What are the magic words that take away the pain? I just do. I cling to my faith, I cling to Christ and the cross. I remember that God has a plan for me. He promised me a hope and a future. Do I tell my neighbors that? Yes? Now? No but someday. Someday.

Now? I pray. I pray for peace that passes understanding. I pray for them to be comforted. I will go and give them hugs and not say anything and just be there for them. Be the hands and feet of the church.

It's Been a While

It's been a while. After talking to a friend last night he unwittingly made me realize that I needed to get back to  blogging. I have been writing long hand in a notebook tho so I could use that as fodder later on.

To catch up. I am starting school on the 23rd. My major will be creative writing. I would love to do freelance work for magazines and such. I also really like proofreading too. I may look into that too. But at least I am going back to better myself.

Usually I like to write about what I am thinking or things that have happened to me. Right now I am heartbroken over several broken relationships.  I want things to get better but how? Do I need to take the first step to cross the bridge? Do I leave it alone? How can I convey that I want to move past that thing that came between us?

Because of my personality I wonder if they even miss me? Do they realize that it's been two years since they have talked to me? Do realize that I have visited in that long? That we haven't shopped together? Haven't had a cup of coffee? Haven't laughed? Do they realize the damage that it has done to others around us? Do they care at all?

I talked to Mr. Spouse about it and he asked me why I was worried about it now. All I could think of was I miss my friend. Did I do something that was unforgivable? Have they been waiting all this time for me to step up? If I explained my feelings would they listen? Would they understand?

So the question of the night is. Do I take the first step? Leave it alone? I know that God has it under control. He hold the future in my His hand.

Lord I come to you know and ask, to plea that you show me the direction you want me to go. I ask that you soften people hearts and prepare them for what You have planned. Prepare my heart for what you have planned, Lord help us to put away our childish ways and move beyond the hurt so that our renewed relationship will shine your light. Amen

Project....

I am just finishing Julie & Julia. It is a woman who decided to cook her way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking  by Julia Child.

It has made me long for a "project" of my own but for the life of me I don't know what it would be. I like to cook but not enough to cook my way through a cookbook.

I thought about doing a blog on women of the Bible but that has been done then done again. There is a series of book about the bad women of the Bible. In face it is called Bad Girls of the Bible. I can relate to those women. In fact I love Rahab with unnatural affection because she was as bad as you could be, a prostitute but somehow managed to be one of five women mentioned in the lineage of Jesus. Doesn't that say something?

I like bad women I suppose because it shows that we are not perfect and it make it seem that God has a sense of humor. Imagine His son being the descendant of a  prostitute. It kinda boggles the mind.

That would be kinda cool. Write about "bad girls" of the Bible. I can base it from the books. Work me way through the books like Julie worked her way through the cookbook. I would want to find out as many details about them as I could. Ummmm...that is a thought.

My other thought was to write about real women. Not Mother Theresa but REAL women. Women who go day to day and not expect any recognition, they love their families, they love their communities, they love their Lord. They go day by day and not expect to be changing a persons life in the process. Those are the women I truly admire. The one who stay after church and tell you they love you and give you a hug just when you need it. The one who teaches Sunday School every Sunday because she wants children to love the Lord.

Maybe that will be my next project.

We shall start with the The Bad Girls of the Bible  and go from there.

I HAVE A PROJECT!!!!!

By the way the Bad Girls are books by Liz Curtis Higgs. They are wonderful and funny and thought provoking. Read them, read them now!!!                   -

Easter

Easter is one of those holidays that is meant to be spent with family. With both of our families two hours away hubby and I usually spend the day by ourselves. We enjoy each others company so usually it's not a problem.

Today we got to spend it with family. My best friend's family has adopted us in every since of the word. We are included in family events and holidays. Even a recent wedding.

Family has always been important to me- I grew up around the corner from my grandparents. I love spending time with my family. When I married I moved two hours away from everything I ever knew. Although we try to visit family as often as possible it's impractical to go all the time. So I am grateful when families allow us to share in their holiday
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found this in by list of drafts...I guess I never posted it.

That family still takes care of us. The whole family- sisters, nieces, nephews, mom and dad. It seems that we have known the for all time.
 t
The title of this post is Easter. I suppose back then I was going to have a cleaver little thing about Easter but for the life of me I do not know what it was.

As a Christian Easter is important. It's the day that we celebrate when Christ came from the grave. What a wonderful story. One time a friend asked me if there was another sacrifice that wouldn't have required Christ to die. I immediately said "NO!!" What else would have been great enough? I thought of Job who lost everything, wives, children all his material possessions and at the end  of his story we find out that he had more after the tragedy then before. We can give everything we have but still get more, if we give our life THAT is everything. After we give our life there is nothing else to give. We can't get it back. Christ was born so that he could die for us.

It is hard to remember that Easter is not about the bunnies and eggs and candy (although the candy is a yummy part of it). As much as we remember "The Reason for the Season" we must remember the reason why we celebrate Easter.

Lent

Yes I am Baptist. I am not Catholic. I went to a Catholic school for eight years. It has been over 25 years since I have stepped foot in a Catholic school. Since then I have been in a Catholic church once.

Some things though are hard to shake. I love the some of the rituals of the Church. I like how some of the priests and nuns give their lives, their whole lives to the Lord. I have no doubt that my pastor has dedicated his life to the Lord but Catholic priest give everything, money, a husband, a wife, children, family. They give it all up. (Yes I realize that not all priest are good.)

So tomorrow is the beginning of Lent. According to Dictionary.com lent is (in the Christian religion) an annual season of fasting and penitence in preparation for Easter, beginning on Ash Wednesday and lasting 40 weekdays to Easter, observed by Roman Catholic, Anglican, and certain other churches.

Origin:
before 1000; Middle English lente ( n ), Old English lencten, lengten  spring, Lent, literally, lengthening (of daylight hours); cognate with Dutch lente, German Lenz  spring; see Lenten

Growing up I gave up something every year for lent.(I caved to peer pressure)  Usually is was sodas or chocolate and it didn't last very long. Of course after going to public school I didn't have to worry about Lent anymore. As an adult it barley crossed my mind.

Several years after talking to a friend and reading some in a Bible study about how some people were practicing some aspects of Judaism because they felt it added to their relationship to God. (I like bacon too much to give it up.) I thought Lent and how I gave stuff up for it.

This was back in the days of the forty day books. You know Purpose Driven Life, 40 Days to a Better You, The Prayer of Jabez. So my first attempt at Lent was working my way through a Purpose Driven Life. I didn't tell a lot of people because that is a private thing.  And since I didn't finish it no one was disappointed in me.

Since then I have observed Lent. Most of my friends don't know that I do it. I have given up caffeine, meat, my computer. I tried to give up work once and hubby wouldn't let me. This year I said I was giving up cigarettes and beer. He didn't let that fly either.

Now my hubby does it with me. This year we are doing no meat again. I am giving up Facebook. I may give up Twitter but I don't know if I can do without both. 

Why do we do it? I mean we're not Catholics or any religion that practices Lent. Since Easter is the time that we recognize and talk about Christ dying on the cross and his Resurrection. I figure the least I could do to honor his sacrifice was to make a sacrifice of my own, however small. 

I do not expect anyone else to do. I do not expect the Southern Baptist Convention to suddenly say that we are observing Lent. This is part of who I am. I guess that sixth grader at St Edwards who wants to be like everyone else is still there in some way except I am not being like any one else  I am just the sixth grader all grown up realizing what a great and might God she serves and is humbled by the sacrifices that He made for me.

Lord have mercy

I  sit here in my chair content and happy. I am watching NCIS and that always makes me happy.

For some reason the phrase "Law have mercy" keeps running through my mind. It's silly, it reminds me of my oldest brother. I don't know why it reminds me if him but it does. I think the phrase is running through my head because I am so grateful for the Lord's mercy. I have a wonderful life. There have been ups and down but I have it made; my husband loves me, I have a job that I love and never once in four years did I not want to go. I live in a house that is sloooowly being redone. I have a son, well kinda and he IS Chinese. I am  thinking what did I ever do to deserve this? Nothing. I did nothing. It is part of the Lord's mercy.

Those are my favorite thing about the Lord; mercy. I just looked up
mercy on dictionary.com and this is the definition- compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence. Compassion toward an offender. WOW!!! How many times have I shown mercy when someone wronged me? Uhhh not often and if I do it's only be once. How many times have I offended God? How many times did I offend Him just today yet he always compassionate and forgiving. I am sure I have mentioned this before but I carry offenses around like they are written in a little black book. "There's Joe. No I don't talk to Joe because when we were in sixth grade he said I have a pug nose." I guess it is time to throw away my little black book. If I am to be more like Christ I need to show some mercy. (NO mercy for not allowing me to watch NCIS!!!)
  
 For me the cross shows the supreme example of and mercy. God took pity on us because of our sinful condition and sent his Son to die for us. 

The hymn "At the Cross" notice the words of the first verse


At the Cross

~ Isaac Watts, 1674-1748
~ Chorus by Ralph E. Hudson, 1843-1901




Stanza 1:
Alas! and did my Savior bleed?
And did my Sov'reign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I?


Chorus :
At the cross, at the cross,
Where I first saw the light,
And the burden of my heart rolled away -
It was there by faith I received my sight,
And now I am happy all the day.


Stanza 2:
Was it for crimes that I have done
He groaned upon the tree? Amazing pity! Grace unknown!
And love beyond degree!


(Chorus)


Stanza 3:
Well might the sun in darkness hide
And shut its glories in,
When Christ, the mighty Maker, died
For man the creature's sin.


(Chorus)


Stanza 4:
Thus might I hide my blushing face
While His dear cross appears;
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
And melt mine eyes to tears.


(Chorus)


Stanza 5:
But drops of grief can ne'er repay
The debt of love I owe:
Here, Lord, I give myself away -
'Tis all that I can do!

Day 1of my new life

I want this to be a before picture --->



Ok I didn't get up at six to walk and I didn't eat very healthy but I did walk .58 miles. I was disappointed because I wanted to go at least 30 minutes but I just lasted a little over 10 but it is a start.

Tomorrow my life starts back so my aim is six o'clock again. Still walk around the block but maybe my back won't start hurting so quick tomorrow. I know I will start seeing progress but I want to see it now.

We need to go shopping because there is no healthy food in our house. There is no food in our house at all. So maybe I will make good choices at the grocery store. But differently not buying chips, cakes or chocolate. Maybe I need to avoid things that start with "C".

Well for now that will be it. As Scarlet said "Tomorrow is another day"