MandySue: End of the Year (almost)

MandySue: End of the Year (almost): The end of the year always brings about reflection- what we could have done, what we could have done different, what we would have never ch...

End of the Year (almost)

The end of the year always brings about reflection- what we could have done, what we could have done different, what we would have never changed, the happy times, the sad times. Was it a good year or a bad year? Was it everything I thought it was going to be?

This year was a good year. Things happened this year that I thought would never happen, we are sharing our home with a child. He will go home in five months but how awesome to have an impact on another person. We look forward to doing it again next school year.

I learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought. There have been ups and downs with my family. At one time I would have cried gallons of tears over the downs but now I realize that I can not control what other people do or say I have let many things go.

For many years I have said that family is not a related by blood but by love. This year has proved that true more times than I can count. Two wonderful ladies became a bigger part of my life this year and they encourage me and make me feel loved and they ask me about my life. I have been blessed more than I deserved by just having these ladies in my life.

For many years I have bemoaned the fact that I don't have a best friend (really does a 40 year old need a best friend?) This year I was blessed with a friend that is always there for me and goes out of her way for me and never fails to make me laugh. She has allowed me to be a part of her family and I am forever grateful to her.

So what am I going to do in 2012? I am not sure yet... I do know that I want to lose weight. My goal? Two pounds a week. And to get moving. I have a big comfy chair that I seem to be glued to most of the time. I need to MOVE. So to lose the weight I want to start walking then move on to running.

I have realized that I need to set small goals for myself. I want to start by walking around my block. It my be once, it may be twice but I want to start small. The best time to do this is in the morning which means I need to get up an hour earlier than I do now but it will be worth it. This will also give me time to have a prayer time and Bible study.

I may also look into yoga. I have read that it will help with my anxiety issues as well as my weight. I need to do things that are easily assessable and inexpensive. I can get a yoga tape to follow on the days that I do not walk (when it is raining)

I need help doing this. If you see me ask me if I have exercised. If I haven't ask me why not. Do not let me give poor excuses, no time, overslept, sore back. Ask me if how cokes/coffee/teas I have had. I need to drink more water and decrease my caffeine intake.

And lastly I have a favor to ask. I am a needy person and I need people to spoil me lol. Sponser a goal for me; I make it to 250 and I get a prize... lol. A small one, a new coffee cup, a new water jug, a new pen for work. I told you I was needy..

I want to share my journey with you. I am not disciplined and I want to change that. I want people to share in the good things and the bad things. Too often we share the good things (my hubby bought me a present!!!) but not the bad things (if my hubby farts one more time today I will shove a cork..) well you get the idea. I am encouraged not only by a persons triumphs but buy their failures as well. Knowing that someone overcame set backs is awesome.

So Happy 2012 and my changes go into effect in six days!!!

Family

I am sitting in my big comfy chair, my hubby is in his recliner and our exchange student is sitting on the sofa. The Razorbacks are on and we are all on computers. The dog is going from person to person to see who has food. There is not a lot being said other than the occasional GO but it is comfortable and it feels good. This is my family. I am loving this.

I probably have said this before or talked about it before but this is family. I have come to realize that family is more than a bunch of people who are related by blood or marriage. I have an awesome family. I grew up around the corner from my dad's parents. I thought every person in America lived around the corner from their grandparents. My idea of family was altered when my parents divorced. Then it was altered again when I moved in with my dad after my mom moved out of state a year later.

My idea of family has been changing ever since. People have moved in and out of my life as need them. My dad died four months after I got married. When I need a dad God has always provided me one. He has also provided me with a mom or maybe a series of moms when I have needed them. It is awesome to sit here and think of how God provided for me just when I needed it. Right now there is a wonderful woman at church who loves me and encourages me and I love her (you know who you are S.A.) She is the woman that God has given me for this season of my life. I am truly blessed.

I also love being an aunt. Nieces and nephews are great, you can do fun stuff with them, feed them lots of sugar then take them home. The problem is that my closest ones live two hours away from me. God has given me nieces and nephews to do fun things with. Their parents even let me sugar them up and everything.

And now we are parents. Sort of, kind of. We have an exchange student living with us. I told a friend that I knew I would love him and have feelings for him but I thought it would be more like how I feel about my nephew. I didn't know that I would fall in love with him. That his wants would be greater than my needs. We tease each other and I think he is just like me or when he and hubby are both shaking their legs he is just like hubby,

When people get married they talk about having families of their own. What we don't realize is that we have a family of our own. My family is different than my siblings families and is different than your family. Your family could be all ginger haired or look like the United Nations but it doesn't matter because it is your family.


Teach Your Children
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

You, who are on the road must have a code that you can live by.
And so become yourself because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well, their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they picked, the one you're known by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of the tender years can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your years, they seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well, their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they picked, the one you're known by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
 

Content

I sit here in my big comfy chair. (It is actually really comfy, I have fallen asleep in it twice and hubby spent a night in it after falling asleep during a football game.) I am in awe of my life right now.

Earlier today my church had a women's retreat. It was awesome. I love the women at my church. If I need to cry they let me, if I need a laugh they make me. God has met my needs at the church. I was able to focus on the Lord today. Not once did I wonder if I was missing something on Facebook (I missed nothing) I didn't check my phone every five minutes to see if I missed a call (not that many people call me) I didn't text anyone (that was hard for me) We were reminded to slow down several times today. There was time that we closed our eyes for fifteen minutes and did nothing. That was wonderful.

The only thing was that was talked about Sarai (Sarah.) You know Abraham and Sarah. The woman who had a baby when she was ninety? I love stories of women in the Bible. The story of Ruth, Rahab, Esther, Mary. LOVE those women. Sarah...eh, not so much. I can't tell you how may times in the past ten years that someone, with the best intentions, has told me that Sarah had Issiac when she was ninety, it is meant to make me feel better about not having children. I usually tell them that God and I discussed it and I am NOT going to have a baby when I am ninety. I do love Sarah's story. She was faithful. Faithful to her husband, faithful to God. She did make that mistake with Hagar but who hasn't taken situations in their on hands? She has a neat story and I am going to find out more about her.

When I think about being a mom, it's not about having a child of my own but making a difference in the life of a another person. To influence them, to give them unconditional love. To let them know they would always have safe place to come to in times of trouble. But most of all I wanted someone to call me "Mom." I would NEVER attempt to take that title from another woman. I wanted to earn it. I wanted to have the battle scars to show that I deserved it. I wanted someone to call me "Mom" cause they thought I deserved it. I knew that I was just biding my time. I knew that God was going to make me a MOM, maybe not a mother but I would be a Mom one day. I knew just like Sarah knew she was promised a child.

Last summer a wonderful girl started calling me Mom, it always made my heart skip a beat. This summer a precious girl in the youth group started calling me "Mommy" I thought she would stop at the end of summer when we stopped spending so much time together but she didn't. Her sister and grandmother asked me one day if  I had seen my daughter. I had to smile. Last week an older girl in the youth group started calling me mom. All of this was not prompted and not asked for.

Our exchange student calls me mom. Hubby tonight said that the student liked me better then him. He had gone to a thing at school this morning and I wasn't home when he came home. Hubby said the first thing he did when he got home was ask where I was. I try to assure hubby that he was liked too but of course I was doing the victory fist pump inside going "Yeah baby!!"

After years of pleading with God and trying to explain to Him why I needed a child and Him telling me no I finally understood. I am a mom. THIS is what I have been waiting for. How wonderful to know that the Lord answered my prayers. I wonder how He had to wait for me to calm down and realize that he had this in control? I am finally understanding what it means to be content.

Thank you LORD!!!

For I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. Philippians 4:11

Forever Chris Tomlin

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
With a mighty hand
and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
Forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
And ever
Yeah

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
Forever
You are God.....
Forever
And ever and ever ....

The Last 10 Years

Yesterday was the anniversary of the attacks on America by some radical men. I first wanted to say the attack on the World Trade Center but that leaves out the Pentagon and the plane that went down in Pennsylvania. I don't want to forget them. The people that responded to those tragedies were heroes too. In fact the people on the plane who determined that they were going to give their lives so others may live may be the bravest heroes. (Yes Firefighters and Police officers are heroes too. I have great respect for both of those professions.)

Last night while watching a program that showed memorials all over the world my hubby and I were talking about how it affected the World, not just America. He said that even Muslims were remembering with us. Well....that got me thinking (which is never a good thing) about the way we view people.

I asked him if he was scared of white men in their twenties, He laughed and said no. I reminded him of the Oklahoma City bomber and how he was a white guy and he blew up that building for something he believed in too, except he wasn't willing to die for his cause. We look at Timothy McVeigh and say "Not all Christians are like that" we know that is true. We know that we can't judge an entire population of people because of what one or two do. Surely we Christians don't want to be like that right?

Now what about Muslims? Can we judge an entire population of people because of what a few did? Yes there are still who want to kill Americans, but do you remember the KKK in the forties and fifties who wounded, maimed and killed untold numbers of people because they were black? We still don't judge ALL Americans or ALL Christians because of the callous acts of these few. The majority of Muslims are like you and me, they go to work everyday, they go grocery shopping, put gas in the car, take their children to soccer and dance, come home and cook dinner. Why judge ALL Muslims by the callous acts of a few?

Yes I want Muslims to be won to Christ. I want them to know the Truth but are we being, am I being what they need to see? Am I loving? Compassionate? Can I look past the hijab they wear to see the true person? Can I see that they don't agree with the radical Muslims no more that I agree with the radical Christians?

I have been thinking about this all day. I know some will be upset and call me a liberal because I don't think all Muslims all evil. If I want them to see me as I am then in turn I must see them as they are.

I think Matthew 5:44 says it all "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

A New Chapter

If you told me a month ago that my life was going to change I would have laughed at you. My life is my life. There are good things and bad things but for the last couple of months it's been on an even keel. I have been mostly (gasp) content. (Everyone has discontent moments)

Then all of a sudden...some kid at church told us that we needed to host an exchange student. After all we did have two spare rooms and the foster kid thing wasn't working out. We said no and laughed. Some time after that our pastor sent out an e-mail saying that a friend of his was a coordinator for an exchange student program and needed families. So we prayed about it and a week later we were waiting on a sixteen year from China.

So now we are sharing our home and our lives with a Chinese teenager. We are still settling in and getting to know each other but it feels like we've been doing this forever.

On Sunday night we were in the living room and he was practicing his sax I looked at my husband and we both knew he had done the right thing. Even the dogs like it when he practices.

It's like we really didn't know what we were missing until now. So now I am content, even more content than I ever imagined. Thank you Lord.

So now I have a new theme song...

The Happy Song

Hey!
CHORUS
Oh I could sing unending songs
Of how You saved my soul
Well I could dance a thousand miles
Because of Your great love

Verse 1
Yeah!
My heart is bursting Lord
To tell of all You've done
Of how You've changed my life, and wiped away the past
Oh I wanna shout it out
From every roof top sing
For now I know that God is for me not against me

CHORUS
Oh everybody dance!
Verse 1
CHORUS
Oh everybody dance!

Everybody's singin' now....cause we're so happy!
Everybody's dancin' now....cause we're so free!
If only we could see His face
And see Him smilin' over us
As unseen Angels celebrate, cause joy's in this place!

Tattoo

This is my left ankle, not my bootie!!! -------->

I have a tattoo. It s a very small tat that is one the inside of my left ankle. It took me a very long time to decide that I wanted it. It took four years after that to convince myself that I was not going to hell if I got it. Now that I have one I want more., at least two more.

Growing up I was the youngest child, problem with the being the youngest is that the road has already been paved by the time you start walking down it. I have a brother that followed the rules, a brother that was rebellious and a sister who was in-between. I watched them, tried to imitate a different characteristic in each. But the bottom line was that I towed the line. I didn't drink until I was 21, I have never smoked a cigarette, I can count the number of guys I dated on one hand. Of course I was in church every Sunday. I thought if I followed the rules people would love me.....

I did some things that were wrong...maybe not following ALL the rules..and I still didn't find the love I wanted...Then I met my hubby..I got the love I need...I realized that God had loved me like that the whole time.

I learned that it didn't matter what others thought of me- God loved me and hubby loved me and that was all that mattered.

So for the biggest act of rebellion in my life I got a tat when I was forty. My tat? As you can see is is an ichthus (a Christian fish.) How big? Smaller than a dime. I put it in a place I can see it everyday and it reminds my that Christ died for me, that God loves me no matter what. I also know that when I turned forty I did something that I have wanted to do for years and loved every minute of it. I have never regretted it. I think it would be cool when I die someone will go, she wasn't really a crabby old woman forever, she must have been cool once upon a time.

So I found a road that none of my siblings have gone down and very few of my members have gone down ( I think there is just three or four of us) Sometimes when you go a new way you are forging a way for those who come behind you. I don't think tats are right for everyone. But I believe that you must be who God made you to be, even if that means going off the beaten path every now and then.

Decisions Decisions

Several years ago through a series of events my hubby and I realized that God was leading us to leave the church we were attending. So we found another church. A church were we are accepted and loved for what we are. We still love the people at our old church but God was speaking and we moved.

We have been at the new church for two years now (we at the other one for 15 years.) Over the last two years I have wondered how big a part my hurt feelings had to do with it. Was I just throwing a hissy fit because I wasn't getting my way? Was I was trying to call someone's bluff cause I wanted them to tell me the church would never manage without me? Was I mad because no one was listening to me? The answer always came up no but I always wondered.

Now I love my new church. I love the CHURCH. I have found family there... moms, dads, sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews. People who celebrate my victories and mourn my losses. Every time we leave church I turn to my husband and say...I love our church. After two years to still feel that is a great thing.

Something happened on Sunday that forever sealed that decision my mind. It was little things that added up to big things. There was a community worship service at the old church. My hubby was singing in the choir. I was going. I don't know what I expected but I was trembling in fear. When I got out of my car I thought "Just like Daniel and the lions den" So I stuck out my chin and walked in. There stood a lady from the new church. "Praise the Lord, I don't have to go alone" was screaming in my head. Before I could even sit down two children (maybe teenagers, we act like children) wanted to sit by me. My heart burst with joy. All the fears I had God took care of.

My family was there for me. They love me. I also realize that my old church still love me too and although I worship with a new family now I don't have to choose between the two. it doesn't have to be one or another. A Girl Scout song says you can keep the old friends and still make new friends. Why as adults do we think we have to choose?

When we got home last night hubby and I were talking about the service and he summed it. "They love us" We can feel the love. Oh and they accept us as we are, warts and all. They accepted us when we walked through the door the first time.

Ramblings of an Insomniac 2

The past couple of weeks have been a wonderful time in my life. I went to church camp a month ago and spent a week. The way camp works is there is a three day camp for junior high kids and a four day camp for senior high camp. I stayed for both camps. My first thought was that I can skip the first three days of senior high cause it's the same stuff. I decided that if I wanted the kids to go I needed to go, so I did.

I am a note taker. If I don't take notes during a sermon my mind will wonder and I start thinking about where I am going for lunch and what I will eat when I get there. Then it's all I have to do during the week, the start looking at my husband wondering where he got the shirt he's wearing because I would not pick that out for him. Then I start looking around at the people and that is just something I don't want to talk about. So anyway I take notes.

After camp we shared with the church and I realized that the notes I took for each sermon were different. The same man preached on the same topic using the same verses but I got something totally different out of it each time. Pages and pages of notes that should have been the same but weren't. I now wonder if I look back on the notes I have taken over the years if they would be reflective of what I was going through at that time in my life?

I took a lot of notes at camp about being a leader, how to turn kids into leaders to be specific. I think it was sometime during the drive of taking kids back to church and picking them up to go to camp that I realized I WAS a leader. After that started listening with a new ear. God didn't just want the kids to be leaders but the adults too. I mean really who was going to lead the leaders?

So ALL of that to say this..

I the middle of over one thousand kids I realized how far I had strayed and I needed to get back on track. I prayed that god would give me new eyes to see with and ears to hear with. Most of the time we pray this thinking we are going to be able to tune the TV/radio we have in our hearts and heads so much quicker when we pray. I wanted to see people the way God saw people. I needed to change.

I came home talked to hubby and prayed. And prayed and listened to what God had told me. I knew that I needed a new start. So this past Sunday I (and hubby) rededicated my life to the Lord. It was a new start. I was humbled and blessed as our Pastor said that we were an important of the church and they had been blessed by US. I was humbled again when people came and hugged and told me how much I was loved.

I am grateful to a God of second chances. That He will never stop loving me. He will always let me come back. His grace is sooo much more that I even deserve.

How He Loves
John Mark McMillion

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause your good

Suitcases

I know it's been a while... a long while since I have written. I can't tell you how many times that I have laid in bed and thought needed to write what was swirling around in my head. So now am.

Tonight at church the Youth Pastor spoke on patience. Endurance, patience, perseverance. All the same things. We are talking about the Fruit of the Spirit so we are using Galatians 5: 22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control" as our base verse. He referenced Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

Through Hebrews 12:1 I learned that we are not alone (surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses.) There is no ground that we cover that someone is not holding us up.

I also learned that we need to throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that entangles us. We need to get rid of our baggage. Paul uses a lot of sports metaphors in his writing (prepare for the good fight, finish the race.) How can we run the good race if we are holding on to stuff? There is a certain family that lives in Northwest Arkansas that have a LOT of children. They do not encourage their children to date because they feel it would bring baggage to the marriage. I think there is more to baggage than that. We all have baggage. The really awesome thing is that God wants it. We can give it all to him. It's like checking your bags at the gate and not having to worry about picking them up them when you get off the plane. Just thinking about it lifts a twenty pound rock from my shoulders!

He asked what kind of baggage that we had. I started running through a list in my head. I like to worry, I worry about not worrying. We are having problems with our air conditioner, my husband has two big tests tomorrow, my oldest brother is leaving the country for twelve days tomorrow, the air conditioner went out in my husbands truck this is just the list for today. All of this stuff is out of my control. I can't do anything about it. God, the creator of the Universe wants me to drop ALL of this stuff at His feet. So I did. I feel lighter.

How can we run, how can we fly if we have all this stuff that is weighing us down? How can we be all God wants us to be if we are being held down? Let go of the stuff give it to God. Everyday give it to God. He has a plan for for you. A good plan but in order to get there we have to drop all our stuff.

Guess what? There is a song called

"Suitcases!"

How can you move when they’re weighing you down
What can you do when you’re tied to the ground, yeah
You carry your burdens, heavy like gravity
Just let them go now, there’s freedom in release

You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases
It’s a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart
Lay down your guard, you don’t have to be afraid

Just breathe, your load can be lifted
There’s a better way when you know you’re forgiven
Open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don’t have to be afraid

Can you imagine what it’s like to be free
Well, send those bags packing, they’re not what you need
Abandon your troubles on the side of the street
Just let them go now, believe me

You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases
It’s a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart
Lay down your guard, you don’t have to be afraid

Just breathe, your load can be lifted
There’s a better way when you know you’re forgiven
Open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don’t have to be afraid

There’s nothing hold you back now, just run

You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases
It’s a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart
Lay down your guard, you don’t have to be afraid

Just breathe, your load can be lifted
There’s a better way when you know you’re forgiven
Open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don’t have to be
You don’t have to be afraid

Ramblings of an Insomniac

I have trouble falling asleep. sometimes it's better than others but right now it's bad. This is the fourth night in a row that I've been up past midnight. Tonight I went to bed three hours ago but no luck so I got up trying to wear myself out. Tomorrow I'm calling the doctor and asking for some Ambien. No I am not kidding. I tried laying down, watching TV, reading, listening to music and nothing has been working.

The not so funny thing is my hubby can fall asleep in as soon as he gets still. The cat is asleep and the dogs are asleep, one is even snoring, I think she is taunting me.

Right now I have a lot of things that are swirling around my head.

Most of it wondering- like We got bin Laden..it's a great day to be an American. It is wrong to celebrate the death of a man, even one so evil. Why do people insist on not giving Pres. Obama any credit and think that he is taking all the credit? Will people ever give him the credit that he is due? When is America going to be attacked again? Why do people either think he's not dead or died last week or years ago?


Last week I found out that a friend of mine made a mistake. A mistake that many people make. The wrong people found out and insisted that everybody know about it. So old wounds were opened up and now her life is in chaos. So why do we insist on doing this to people? In my vast experience (ha ha ha) I have learned that most people point fingers at others because they don't want people pointing their fingers at them. I don't have any room to call people out on things because I have plenty of things that I don't want people to find out about me.

There is so much I need to do- I need to get prizes for a basketball tournament, take a bunch of stuff back to Lowe's and Home Depot, but my mom a Mother's Day gift, get graduation gifts, clean the kitchen, paint the living room, call the guy about the floor in the living room...Maybe I'm anxious....I could go on and on but luckily for you I'm not.

There is the thoughts of my legs feel weird, I long have I had that bump? I'm laying on my hair I have to have the cool side of the pillow...

Now that some of the stuff in my head is clear I am actually sleep. One can hope.

Being bullied

The last month or so an incident from my elementary school years has been on my mind. Why? I don't know of a specific reason other than telling someone about growing up.

I went to a private school from second through ninth grade. We all wore uniforms. The same plaid jumper with the same white shirt and blue knee socks. EVERYDAY!!!! When it was cool we wore a blue cardigan with a patch on the left pocket. When people talk about children wearing uniforms cause it puts them on the same playing field, let me tell you: IT'S A LIE!!! Kids will find something to pick on. I was teased because my shoes weren't name brand and because my folders weren't Mead but store brand.

My father was a postman and he worked at a gas station at night. He worked two full time jobs for nine years so I could go to private school. I am very thankful for the education that he provided me but being an adult I would have rather had my dad.

One of my friend's father's was the Operations Manager for the local Pepsi bottler. Another dad was the manager of a high end hotel.

In Little Rock the further out west you are the more expensive the houses are. Even though I haven't lived in Little Rock for seventeen years I can you exactly were the high dollar houses are and they keep going out further west. All that to say this- I lived in East Little Rock. Yep.

I would love to say that we didn't know we were poor but all my classmates confirmed this. Daily.

So the incident that has been on my mind. When I was in forth or fifth grade we were told to write a story. You know the kind were you put it up in the back of the room were everyone can read it. Right before a parents thing so they could see our best work.

One boy in my class wrote about aliens that were attacking Earth. They were all named "Amanda" who talked through their pug shaped noses. (I'm pretty sure it said they were all fat and ugly too.) It made me cry but my teacher put that story up with all the other ones. Kid never got in trouble for it. Even now 35 years later I can't for the life of me figure out why. I already had problems fitting in with the other kids, I had no self confidence, I was not the brightest crayon in the box. (Still not the brightest crayon in the box, but I can laugh about it now.) I was an annoying kid, I must have been the kid that the teacher loved to use her red pen on. I wasn't given any slack. If I remember correctly, same teacher accused me of cheating off the guy in front of me because we both had the same wrong answer on a test she didn't believe me when I said I didn't cheat and never asked the kid in front of me even though we passed our papers forward. (That was a run on sentence)

Why is it bothering me now? Bullying is such a hot button issue now. ALL bully's need to be punished. It has got to be stopped. I work with kids. I love kids, all kids. My favorite are the ones who go against the grain. They are brave enough to do what they want and not what their peers want.

I have a habit of teasing people. It's a way to show people that I like them. I call people "Loser" all the time. It is never meant to harm anybody but this past summer I learned that regardless of my good intentions it does bother people. I am much more sensitive to what I say to children now. (Adults should know when others are teasing and not take themselves so seriously) I try to be more positive toward them now. I have tried to cut out calling people loser now. I don't want a child I know remember me as the person who bullied them 35 years ago.

The Body

Yesterday I wrote about Satan and how he made me feel unworthy to serve the Lord. I really should have added that we go to an awesome church and they welcomed us and have NEVER made us feel unworthy.

Before I start rambling I have to tell ya something. I have a net book that I usually type on. The keyboard on the net book is about half the size of my lap top. I have gotten use to it tho. I am currently typing on the lap top and it is AWESOME!!! Not so many typos and much easier on the fat fingers. Well now that tangent is done lets set off to see what is in my head.

I have probably talked about this before but I have a problem paying attention to anything that is not on my radar. If someone brings it to my attention I can be all over it in just a matter of seconds, but it has to be brought to my attention. Once things are brought to my attention I want to fix it , take care of it.

I am not Bible scholar. I don't read my Bible like I should. I do know that we are extorted (that's a Bible word right?) to minister to one another. We are to minister to those in need. I feel that many people come to Christ because someone just cared about them. Why am I telling you this? Well...

I have been in a place were I didn't think my church family cared about me. I won't go into a lot of details but let me say it was a very tough year for me and my hubby. It cumulated when my father-in-law died and we didn't receive a phone call or visit from the church. We were active in Sunday School, hubby sang in choir, we were active on Wednesday nights. No one acknowledged the pain that my husband was in. He did get a card from his Sunday School class a month later that said sorry but we were busy with our lives. We decided not too long after that to look for a new church. When people asked why was were looking I would tell this story and say my church wasn't there for us when we needed them. There were excuses and blamed was placed, sometimes on us, sometimes on others.

Now why did I tell you that? After two years I finally realized what I felt. I was abandoned by my church. I was left in the cold to fend for myself. I know that someone will say "Silly girl you are just wrong" but it is my feelings and you can't tell me my feelings are wrong. During that long year in my life the church had opportunity ofter opportunity to minister to us. To make up for a wrong that was done but no one reached out to us.

What if I looked for somewhere else that would minister to me and hubby? A bar? A new set of friends? Football? A TV preacher? I know that I am being dramatic. How many people do you know right now that are hurting? Sometimes they don't show it. Not all hurting people are depressed and look like they have been crying. It's not always a pain you can see. What about if someone's spirit has ben crushed? What does that look like? When you go to church next time look around you. Who is hurting? Who can you minister to? Sometimes it is just a hug or an acknowledgment that they are there.

Going to school I heard the phrase, command. I'm not sure what it is but here it is "Whatever you do for the least of these you also do to me" They has always stuck with me. We need to be His arms, His hands, His feet since we are His body.


If We Are The Body Lyrics
Casting Crowns It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus is the way

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

This is my dad. He died 16 years ago. He was a good man of few words. I wish I had him to talk to to give me advice.

I do miss him.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

This is my nephew's ball team at the World Series praying before their game. They did this on their own. I was so proud.

Patience

Patience is not something I am good at.

I hate waiting for anything. I hate waiting in line, I hate waiting at red light, I yell at the person i front of me if they stop while the light is still yellow.

I want instant answers to my questions. I would love to buy things on-line and get them tomorrow.


There have been several things lately that have taught me this lesson that I did not want to learn. I will tell you about two.

My bathroom is in the midst of repair. It needs tiled and a new sink and light fixture and flooring and stuff. This is something I have wanted for the last three years and I have waited and waited and waited. In January I found out that I was getting some unexpected money. (YAY!!!) So after some begging and pleading it was determined that the bathroom would be finished!!! We bought a new sink and fixtures and lights and everything!!! There is a particular person that I want to do the work. He is very talented. He is so talented that he has work a month out. I wanted my bathroom finished NOW!!! So I thought I could find someone else to do it. Hubby told me to wait. "Good things come to those who wait" he said. So I am waiting and I have a bathroom sink in my bedroom to prove it. But I know that when the work is done it will be worth it.

The second you might guess is children. This has been a prayer for twelve years. We knew that we wanted to be parents so we waited. We prayed and waited, knowing that we were called to e parents. We prayed and prayed and prayed. We started the process to become foster parents but we ran into a snag so now we are waiting again. Of course when I found out about the snag I threw a wall eyed hissy fit. Cried to every person who would listen, cried out to God. If I had been three I would have thrown my self down on the floor and kicked and screamed for three days. Then I did the obligatory moping and woe is me and life is no fair. And don't forget about the "Why me, am I such a bad person that this couldn't work out for me?" Tonight as I was talking to a friend about what to do to speed up the process my hubby looked and me and told me to do nothing, it was all in God's timing and He was taking care of it. Of course I looked at him and said "Sweetie you are so right. I can't believe that I ever doubted"...NOT I said "Who are you and what did you do with my husband"

He has been reminding me of God's timing a lot lately. So I have learned to be patient. Maybe not learned. I am learning to be patient. I still have a lot to learn tho.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (King James Version)

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

I am afraid of the dark. I always have a light on. Yes I sleep with a light on.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself & a family member

This is my niece. She has the same quirks that I have. She has the same quirks that hubby has. Sometimes I wonder if she is mine and no one told me.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

My church, Glendale Baptist means a lot to me. We have been members for about a year and a half and we feel like we have been there our whole lives.

After we joined hubby told me it was the first time since we've been married that he felt like he belonged in church.

For example- Saturday night was our Wild Game Banquet and while I was serving a doctor and a farmer who are both members of the church were talking about hunting, fishing, etc. I told them if they were going to talk they needed to help serve so they did. No one is more important than anyone else, we are all important.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

I am fat. I want to be healthier. I want to be thin. I want to buy the clothes that are in the front of the store, not the one stuck in the back that cost an extra two dollars.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

As a Christian the Bible is my favorite book. To be honest I have never read it cover to cover. I know I should but I haven't. It has awesome stories. Who can beat David and Bathsheba or Samson and Delila? Right now in Bible Study we are studying Hosea and Gomer, what a way to for God to show His love for us. If you haven't read the book of Hosea you need to. Those are just the love stories. Lots of wonderful stories in the Bible.

Soooooo...When I first saw this days picture my thought was my favorite book is the one I am reading. I was going to take a picture of my e-reader because those are my favorite books.

The book I kept coming back to is Gone With the Wind . Yes I know that it is not a politically correct book these days but there is something about it. Scarlett and Rhett. It is filled with beautiful and tragic images. I could smell the smoke when Atlanta was burning. I also know exactly what Scarlett looked liked while it burned.

You need to read it. I may have to find my copy today and start reading it again. Maybe download it on the e-reader...ummm

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

This is our house. I wish I was better at taking care of it. I am not a good housekeeper nor am I a good handy person.

I would love to be able to keep the house clean and the laundry done and do the DIY things that need to be done without waiting on someone else to help.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

This is my high school. Wilbur D. Mills High School in Little Rock.

My high school years is what I wish I could forget.

They were rough. I had some very good friends (okay just one!) who were there for me but overall it sucked.

My mom moved had moved to Arizona the summer before I started 10th grade. I moved in with my dad and step-mom and step-brother and step- sister. I went from being the baby to the oldest. The last time I went to public school was in the first grade.

I had zero self-self esteem. I was awkward. I didn't know how to related to people. I was a nerd and didn't realize it.

I can go on and on but I won't. All I can say is thank the Lord that I lived through it and got past it.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

I want to go to Washington DC. It is on my bucket list. I want to see where the government is.

I love history, I love architecture. I love museums. It seems that Washington has all that.

I want to go and spend weeks looking and exploring. I want to see it all. I want to find the weird things that are off the beaten path and I want to see all the touristy things too.

Day 19 - A picture and a letter.

I have been confused about this day since I started this silly thing. Who do I write a letter to? What kind of picture?

So I decided to do a picture of a letter. LOL

It's the only thing that I could make sense of.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

I am my biggest insecurity- I always ask myself "Am I smart enough" "Can you do that" "Am I bright enough" "People would like you better if you lost weight" "You talk too much" "People don't like the way you talk"

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Friends. I have realized that I have some awesome friends lately who carry me and help me and encourage me and believe in me and ....

It is an awesome feeling that you can laugh and cry with someone in the same day. They really know all my bad stuff and love me anyway.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

How about three people who inspire me? This is my brother and two of his three kids.

They have suffered through a horrible tragedy seven years ago. Most people would have crawled in bed and never gotten out.

They have been able to live their lives with a bright outlook for the future. They live the verse about knowing Gods plan to give them a hope and a future.

The kids are excellent students, are very involved in church, outgoing with lots of friend. And they are good people who I enjoy being around.

My brother is very involved in all three of hid kids lives. He too is involved in church. He listens to his little sisters' whines all the time and makes her feel better every time she talks to him.

How do they inspire me? Not to let a tragedy define who you are. There is nothing that you can't overcome.

I don't have a cute title or quip. It's not that I'm in a bad mood but I am at a loss on how to start and if I do start I don't know when I will finish. I am full of words but I don't know how or in what order to write them down. Wow! None of that made sense.

I have had a rough couple, several weeks.

I have become more introspective I think.

I have a problem with self esteem, I need some. I have more than I use to but I could use a little more. This is something that Satan knows and he uses against me quit a lot. This is one o the reasons I am always watching TV or reading something all the time. When my mind is quiet Satan starts in on me. Lately its been about my worthiness to serve the Lord. Satan wants me to think that I am not worthy. I am reminded of Moses when he told the Lord he couldn't talk well enough to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. We know how that turned out. It's not about our worthiness it's about our willingness. God doesn't need those who are worthy, I mean really who is worthy to serve the Lord? God wants those who are willing.

What does he want us to be willing to do Whatever he is called to do. I was looking on a church website once and they did different ministries one Saturday a month. One of the things they did was clean bathrooms in gas stations. The first thing I thought was "I am NOT called to do that"
Am I too good to clean toilets? Is that beneath me? Am I called to only go to church camp? Or work with AWANA or youth? I must be willing to do whatever He calls me to do.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

I want to climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I want to do it with a person who has been there before and tell me all about it's history. It might be fair to say that I want to be kissed on the top but Steve is afraid of heights and I just don't see that happening.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

These are five of my nine nieces and nephews. Sorry Brandon, Angie and RJ. (Facebook won't let me save other people's pictures anymore)

I love them. I love being an aunt. I have learned so much from them. They make me proud, they make me laugh, they make me cry. I try not to embarrass them but I know that doesn't always work. I would go the ends of the earth for them.

ALL of them not just the ones in this picture

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

So I have two favorites. I do feel like I need to explain that I really don't have a type of music I like or a particular band that I like. I love those cds that have a bunch of people on them- that is why I love itunes because I can download a bunch of different things for whatever my mood is.

I do have more Celtic Thunder and Glee (is that really an artist?) songs more than anyone else on my ipod so they win my favorite artists lol.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

I love my dogs- Oscar and Zoe. They love me even when I put clothes on them.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

There are really two things that I hate. Bologna and beans. I'm talking beans and cornbread beans. I like baked beans and read beans and rice but beans blah might as well shoot me. Bologna I just don't like it.

It's like "Green Eggs and Ham"

Not in a box
Not with a fox
Not in a house
Not with a mouse
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.


And yes I know he ended up eating green eggs and ham and liking them but I have eaten and still don't like them.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

I don't know if we do crazy things but usually we laugh till we cry every time we get together. Maybe we are just crazy together.

Day 9 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

My hubby is my rock. He has stood beside me in all manner of things. He has listened to me cry and dried my tears, he has encouraged me. He has stood up for me. When I have a bad day my only desire is to come home and have his arms around me.

Day 8 - A picture that makes you laugh.

A last year at church we dressed as Shrek and Fiona for Halloween. Yep we painted ourselves green. It was awesome!

Day 7 - A picture of your most treasured item.

This is my grandmothers wedding ring. My grandparents were married almost 50 years when my grandfather died. I asked her for the ring when I was in high school and she gave it me then.

Day 6 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

I love books. I would love to be surrounded by books and pass on my love of reading.

Day 5 - A picture of your night.

These are the anchors from "World News Now" the ABC overnight news program. I have many sleepless nights and this is what I watch.

Day 4 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Cinnamon Toast (yumm)

My grandma would make me cinnamon toast when I was a child. She had a toaster that the drawer slid out and we would watch the toast and when it started bubbling we pulled it out. It made me feel so special.

Whenever I eat cinnamon toast now I think of her.

Day 3 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

NCIS is my favorite TV show. I have sat and watched it all day long. I think I have seen every episode.

Day 2 - A picture of you & the person you have been closest to the longest.

This is my brother Eddie. I don't have any pictures with him. Neither of us are keen on taking pictures.

He has been my rock for 42 years and he has never wavered in his support of me. When I think of security I think of him. He is the big brother that every girl needs,

31 Day Picture Challange

I saw this on a friends Facebook and I borrowed (stole) it from her-

Day 1 - A picture of yourself & ten facts.

1. I am married.

2. I did not grow up in Booneville.

3. I like to laugh.

4. I one day will meet Matthew McConaughey, he will fall in love with me. I will leave my husband for him and we will live happily ever after. (Not I will not really leave my hubby)

5. I have seen every episode of NCIS (almost)

6. I love to sing..alone...in my car.

7. I am addicted to electronic devices.

8. I don't mind making fun of myself- hence the Fiona picture

9. I feel like I just grew up in the last five yeas

10. I'm gonna be a parent soon!!!

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

We are waiting. Waiting on the Lord. It is not fun to wait. I am an impatient person. Ok really I don't mind waiting I just want to know how long I will have to wait. If I have an appointment at a certain I expect to be seen at that time. I KNOW!!!! I get antsy when I have to wait without knowing how long I'll be. If anyone knows me well they know that I always have a book or a magazine with me when I have to go places where I might have to wait. I can't just look at walls, even thinking about gives me the hives lol.

We are waiting on DHS. Someone has misplaced my fingerprints. I have been told not to worry about. Might as well tell me not to breathe. I have found though that when I am worrying about that God know exactly where those prints are and they will be found in just the right time. I know that the Lord hasn't brought me this far to leave me here. When I start worrying I turn it over to the Lord and tell Him that I know He is in control and I trust Him. I have been praying that quit a lot the week or. I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. I can look back on my life and see where the Lord has worked in my life. So I am waiting.

We are also waiting on a Realtor/bank/USDA. We have an offer on Steve's dad's house. The couple has qualified for a loan but they have to explain some stuff to the USDA who is underwriting the loan. I think we are both at the point that we are ready to give the house to the next person who looks at it.

We are waiting on some money from an oil and gas company to come through. That could be up to 60 days. That is TWO months!!!! Don't these people know I am impatient? Don't they know that I have plans for that?

My husband keeps telling me that God is trying to teach me a lesson but for the life of me I don't know what he is talking about. I know that in the last two weeks I have had to learn to wait. I have had to learn to trust in the Lord. I have had to learn that God has everything in control and I don't need to worry about a thing.

So I have been praying for the kids that we will have in our home. I have prayed for the couple that is looking at the house that it will be a home for them. And I have thanked the Lord for the unexpected windfall that is coming our way.

When I was in college my sweet sister-in-law wrote me a letter that had an amazing Bible verse in it that encouraged me then and is still an encouragement to me. (Much like my sister-in-law) Can you guess what it is?

Isaiah 40:31

³¹Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary

Zoe

This is Zoe. Oscar is uncharacteristically in the background.

She is the first dog I have ever had. We got her at a dog shelter. I loved her at first sight. When she runs her ears flap behind her...it is so cute. she knows she is my dog. She loves Steve too but somehow she knows that I wanted her. She sleeps with me, she goes to bed when I do. (Right now she is curled up in a ball leaning on my leg) She is a good dog. She does 't bark, or bite. I have seen her let a child pull her ears and not even flinch. She doesn't play with toys or eat dog treats. She listens to me she knows my voice. I can get her attention by making a specific sound. She comes when I call her. That is the extent of her tricks.

For the first couple of days we had her we never saw her eat or drink. I was so worried about her that I forced sugar water down her throat. Did I mention she was the first dog I have ever had lol. So after a couple of days I woke up and found that she found my purse and drug all the stuff out of it. I couldn't be upset with her because she actually DID something. So I gathered up all my stuff shoved it back in my purse, put Zoe in the bathroom and went off to work. When I got home she had eaten through the exhaust hose from the dryer and chewed at the hole in the wall too. I guess she was trying to chew her way outside. So then we bought her a crate A huge crate. Steve could have fit in this crate. She hated the crate. She chewed the food bowls that we put in there. At night she whined and whined and whined some more. That didn't last long. She does not like to be locked up no matter how big of the space. We have occasionally locked the dogs in the kitchen with a baby gate, they can still see us and we talk to them but they hate it. Zoe HATES it. She can spend 90 percent of her day curled up on the couch or the bed but as soon as we put her in a confined spot she starts whining. She doesn't realize that we really are looking out for her. That we are really doing what is best for her.

I realized today that we are like that when God tells us to do something. We like to stay on the couch where we just are. Nobody bothering us. God tells us to go we sit. He wants us to stay within his boundaries we whine and care and whine till He says "FINE!" He only wants what is best for us. He loves us and He is just trying to protect us. One of my favorite verses is 'I know the plans I have for you, plans to give a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) I forget that, I forgot it today, I need to be reminded that He in control we just need to let Him. I would never use myself for an example of what a Godly person is. I not only trip and fall but I fall flat on my face daily, hourly, sometimes every minute but I know that if I hadn't gone through the valleys I wouldn't appreciate the mountains. What gets me every time is that I listen to the wrong voice I know its the wrong voice but I listen anyway and I know its just a bunch of lies. I don't answer when the Voice of truth calls me. It's all about which voice you listen too.

Have a blessed day :-D

You know I have to-

Voice of Truth

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

Books

I am a reader. If I don't have a book handy I feel incomplete. My mom is a reader, she passed the love of reading to her four children. I got my very own library card for my fifth birthday. This past summer I bought myself an e-reader. One of the best things that I have ever bought.

I read for enjoyment. Mostly fiction, I have read some non-fiction but enjoy fiction better. I don't like to have to think about what I read either. I have tried to read Anna Karenina but couldn't make it past the first couple of chapters. It took me two tries to read Gone with the Wind and somewhere in my house is a copy of Scarlett but I haven't made it through that either. Maybe it's the size, maybe it has too may details.


When I was a kid read the Nancy Drew books and the Bobbsy Twin books. I loved the Little House on the Prairie books. One of the biggest thrills of childhood was going to Mansfield, MO to actually see where the books were written. (I got the chance to see the Little House on the Prairie when I was an adult!) Mom never backed away from allowing me to read books. I read the Thorn Birds when I was in elementary school, I felt so grown up. I was not allowed to read any book that was below my reading level. (No romance novels!)

I like to read because it stretches my imagination. I have just gone through a battle at the Ministry of Magic and was taken back to Hogwarts via a portkey. I have been to Forks, Washington and saw what happens to a vampire in the sunlight. I ran through the streets of Rome and Paris with Robert Langdon (before he looked like Tom Hanks)

I remember reading the meaning behind The Wizard Oz when I was in high school. Dorothy represented something and the Tinman something else, etc. I wasn't sure that Frank Baum meant all that, he wrote a children's book. Right now I'm in the middle of reading Harry Potter again. I know that a lot of people see a lot in those books. To me it's a good verses evil kinda thang and good wins (always)

I do read Christian fiction also. For whatever you like to read there is a Christian alternative for it. Karen Kingsbury, Neta Jackson, Ace Collins, Terry Blackstock are just a few of my favorites. The things I like about them is that real things happen to the characters, some of them get hurt, some get sick, some die, just like real people.

Soooo pick up a book. It will introduce you to new friends and take you places you never imagined.

Football

I am watching the Sugar Bowl. Right now Arkansas is down by 18 at the beginning of the second half. Of course I'm yelling at the TV, my husband is yelling at the TV. People on Facebook are complaining about the way Arkansas is playing.

It's fun to watch football with a big group of people. There always seems to be a person who can think they know better than the coach, people who are there just to be there and watch the commercials. Me I just want to watch the game and people.

Of course I didn't watch football until I got married. My hubby loves college football and it is surpassed only by his love for high school football (specifically Bearcat football) So going to every game possible I have learned some things. OK they are really just things I figured out-

You really don't know more than the coaches and no matter how loud you yell they are not going to listen to you and change what they are doing.

The refs do make bad calls but once again no matter how loud you yell and boo them they are not going to change to call (OK high school doesn't have instant replay)

The people around you do not care what your thought is about the last time the touchdown was called back and how we would be ahead right now if the refs weren't blind.

I do know that nachos that come from the concession stand at a football game are better than the nachos I make at home.

I know that as many people come for half-time as they do for the game. (YAY BAND!!!)

I know that if you missed anything that happened in town during the week you will get caught up Friday night.

I know that I always tear up when the National Anthem is played.

I know that I still like hearing the prayer before football games.

I have experienced how cool it is to stand in unison with 1000 to watch a 16 year old kid run down the field, and to gasp in unison when a pass is dropped.

I know how cool it is to see a bunch of kids to take a knee when a player on the field is hurt. It is even cooler to see your players pray for a player from the other team.

I have realized that no matter how loud I yell at the TV "STOP HIM" the players will not hear me.

Lastly I know that when I got married I hated football and wondered why we had to go to every game and 16 years later I am the one saying we have got to get there early if we want to get a good seat. My heart now beats purple and gold (and every now and then blue and white)

GO HOGS!!!!!!

Miserable in their Miserableness

Don't you know people like that? They are miserable and they want everyone around them to be miserable too.

There is someone like that in my life. They make life hard for everyone. When they call me and tell me they have problems, I offer solutions (I'm a fixer) but they think of reasons why the solutions won't work. I offer help but often it's not the kind of help they wanted. They just want to be miserable in their miserableness.

It wasn't too long ago that I poor pitied my self all the time. We were living in a very small rent house, I was hurtling toward forty and didn't have kids, still making barely above minimum wage, never got any breaks, oh woe is me. Some where in that time I took inventory of my life. I HAD a Lord that died for me. I HAD a roof over my head. I HAD a job. I HAD a husband. I HAD a car that started every morning. I didn't have it so bad. After a while it just took too much energy to be miserable all the time. I lost track of who I was suppose to be mad at, so I stopped keeping track.

I have learned that everything comes in the Lord's timing. We are living in a house that is ours (well in 30 years it will be ours.) I have a job that I LOVE, we are going to be foster parents, we will adopt one day. Life is good. Even when it's kinda meh I say it's all good.

The most important thing that I have learned is that when I am miserable I feel disconnected from everything, God, family, church..I was just going through the motions. I now feel more connected to God and church and family. When people get on my nerves I give them more of a chance, maybe they are having a bad day. I don't even yell at customer service people anymore.

Do you want to be alone in your miserableness or do you want to live life with others? (the second choice is really loads more fun!!!)

So what song should I add here? The Happy Song of course.

Today I am grateful for laughter

The Happy Song

Oh I could sing unending songs
Of how you saved my soul
Well I could dance a thousand miles
Because of your great love.

My heart is bursting Lord
To tell of all you've done
Of how you changed my life
And wiped away the past
I wanna shout it out
From every roof top sing
For now I know that God
Is for me not against me

Everybody's singing now Cos we're so happy
Everybody's dancing now Cos we're so happy
If only we could see your face
And see you smiling over us
And unseen angels celebrate
For joy is in this place!

Written by Martin Smith �1994 Curious? Music UK

Dogs...

We have two dogs- Zoe a beagle/dachshund mix and Oscar a shih tzu

I have found that not only do we need to be like dogs, we need to treat others like we treat our dogs. Wait WHAT????

We need to be more like dogs- Every time I walk in the door they are excited to see me whether it's been five minutes or five hours. They literally jump up and down when they see me. They can see out the back door and I can hear them barking for me while I am still in the car with the radio on. Sometimes I sit in the car an extra couple of seconds because I know at that minute I am loved. As much as I love my husband he doesn't jump and down when I come home. I'm doing good if I get a head shake when I see him. (Although the last couple of weeks when I walk through the door I hear "Mommy's home!" coming from the living room.

My dogs are more forgiving than I am. Last week I stepped on Zoe's paw by accident, she yelped, I hugged her, baby talked to her, five minutes later she was putting her head in my lap. She doesn't hold grudges. Oscar hates going to the groomer (we have an excellent groomer btw) but when we pick him up he is excited to see us (he usually gets a new toy after the harrowing experience) We rub his belly and he is good to go.

When we are gone for a long time the dogs may use the kitchen as a potty. When this happens I sigh, say that it is really my fault and get the paper towels and pick it up. I don't get upset with them and go on. When my husband leaves the seat up I hunt him down, drag him back to the bathroom and force him to put the seat back down. It would be so much easier to just put the seat down.

If we leave food in the a trashcan and are gone more than a couple of hours the dogs will tear into it. They also like to eat anything that is left on any table in the house. I just pick it up. I tell the dogs not to do it again (knowing they will) Heaven forbid if Hubby leaves a coffee cup or a plate out. He gets yelled at, threatened with everything short of death not to do it again.

So my goal for tomorrow is to be more like my dogs.

If you haven't noticed today I am grateful for my dogs and the unconditional love they show me.